There’s a million dollar—no, a multi-million dollar—tip in this post. Actually there’s more than one. Get ready. I’m going to talk to you about your mindset.

We’ve been having a little discussion around here lately about coaching. Specifically we’ve been talking about the kind of coaching people want. I’ve been speaking with a lot of colleagues about this too. And surprisingly (to me) it seems most people are looking for a coach who will tell them what to do…step by step.

The online conversation is here:

What Would You Be Doing Right Now if You Had a Coach?

Your Mind vs. Paint by Numbers

So, let me throw a little gas on the fire.

And I’ll fly in the face of what most people are saying while I’m at it. Step by step coaching is nice… but it won’t turn you into a millionaire.

How you think will.

I agree that step-by-step coaching can be effective. The idea of “building success, upon success, upon success” as a good friend says, is a powerful motivator. Yet how you think, and what you bring to the table in terms of mindset, will magnify your small successes ten, one hundred, even a thousand fold.

Let’s buy an apartment building.

Think about it this way. What if you wanted to buy an apartment building but you knew your funds were limited?

Say you go ahead and hire a coach to direct you on how to buy an apartment complex. So far so good. (And I will stress that it is important to become educated in any new endeavor before blindly jumping in.)

You start looking for apartment deals with your new found real estate investing knowledge. Your coach helps you learn to run the numbers on deals. She helps you study the market. She suggests some online sites where you can find real estate listings. And ultimately, with the funds at hand, you end up buying a fourplex… a four-unit property rather than the large apartment building you envisioned.

You’re the disappointed owner of a fourplex. You hired a coach that did what you expected. She coached you on how to do everything yourself. By yourself. Step by step.

But there were limitations.

Now let’s really buy an apartment building.

Let’s say you hire a coach who understands that your psychology plays as big a role as your newly acquired fundamental knowledge of deal analysis and real estate acquisition.

This coach has you start looking at big deals immediately. And making offers on those properties. She has you start interviewing and meeting top real estate professionals in your market. Professionals dealing exclusively in multi-family investing.

You start building a team. This is not a do it yourself endeavor.

You connect with mentors in the field. With brokers. With other apartment owners. With vendors. And contractors.

Rather than find a property on LoopNet (the multifamily equivalent of the MLS) you source deals that haven’t been shopped around yet. And through your connections and networking, you find a great off market apartment deal.

But wait a minute! Didn’t I say earlier that you had limited funds? I did. You heard me right. Here’s the beautiful thing about this story. Coach number two had you thinking in terms of abundance. In terms of building a team. Not going solo. She had you connect with professionals that brought very specific knowledge to the table.

She showed you how to believe big. How to surround yourself with other people who had the knowledge you lack. She didn’t expect you to know how to do everything yourself. She didn’t expect you to DO everything yourself. She showed you that you could fund a big deal with other people’s money. The big OPM.

And here’s what a lot of beginner entrepreneurs never realize.

When you find, or create, a great opportunity (business, real estate, you name it) the money will find you. People don’t pass on great deals.

But you’ve got to believe it.

Your awesome coach helped you think in terms of abundance. She didn’t offer do it yourself, step-by-step coaching. She helped you think in terms of building a team. In terms of overcoming great fear. In terms of being more capable than you would have ever believed possible. Of doing bigger deals.

So, ask yourself this. Which coach would you rather hire? The one who is going to show you baby steps to a fourplex? Or the one who’s going to scare the cr*p out of you? And in so doing show you how to operate with a mindset that you can apply to any endeavor you want, any time in the future?

Okay… it’s your turn. Can’t wait to hear what you all think of this post!

Related posts:

1. Starting a New Business: Where Oh Where Do You Begin?
2. What Would You Be Doing Right Now if You Had a Coach?

In a recent post, I asked the question “If you hired a coach today, what’s the number one thing you would work on?” I also conducted ‘live’ interviews, where I asked, “What are you looking for in a coach?” and, “Have you ever had a coach before?”

Surprising Answers

To my great surprise, very few of those I talked to had an interest in coaching around psychology. They wanted a coach who would:

• Tell them what to do.
• Give them a step by step game plan.

In other words, they were looking for direction. A girlfriend told me, “Look I don’t want to talk about how I think or where I’m coming from in my heart and mind, I just want someone to tell me what to do.”

A friend from one of my mastermind groups told me she didn’t want to hear how she could “get out of her own way.”

Most people I talked to wanted step-by-step coaching.

Yet…

Your Mind is Your Greatest Asset

I believe our subconscious drives our decision making. And I believe our mind is our biggest asset. This is exactly what I write about. I do everything in my power to give a voice to the idea that we create through our thoughts and we deliver results by possessing the right mindset.

So, my little ask campaign* has me stumped. (*see footnote)

The Easy Road

Most of you know I’ve been coaching for years. And I love step by step coaching. It’s easy to do. In fact, it’s too easy. For both the coach and the coachee.

The challenge is in finding what’s really holding you back from greatness. A coach can’t help you find an answer if they’re telling you what to do. And if we’re not getting help from our coaches on how to think, where are we getting it? Napoleon Hill knew our success was a direct result of how we thought… back in 1937. Has something changed? Are processes simply an easier way to exist?

I may begin a coaching relationship with a step by step process, heavy in accountability, but I promise by the end of the coaching process my clients know how to move on their own. So my question today is this: Do we really want a paint by numbers existence?

I’d love to know your thoughts on this.

(And yes, this discussion walks a thin line between the role of a coach and a consultant. I get that:) I’ll save that topic for another post… )

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footnote:

*Ask Campaigns

An ask campaign is one where you ask your clients what they’re looking for. It’s that simple.

But most businesses don’t do it.

My conversations and interviews about coaching are part of a typical ask campaign. Want to know what your clients are willing (and dying) to pay for? Ask them! How can you provide solutions to problems if you don’t know what problems your clients are facing? Have you created a product or service that no one wants? Better to find out early in the game, not later.

Have you conducted an ask campaign for your business? When? Times change. Needs shift. Desires are fickle.

You may be surprised by the answers you get. And it’s really simple to do. You can ask via email, or post your questions (or surveys… another great tool!) on your website or blog, or you can do a simple one on one conversation with your existing clients. This is a great tip.

Related posts:

1. The Heart of a Lion and the Mind of a Sheep
2. What Would You Be Doing Right Now if You Had a Coach?

“But I’ve always done it this way!”

Oh wait, that’s not what I meant. I’m confusing things that work (or may not work) with the fear of failing if I should try something new.

“Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone.  Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking.” ~Tim McMahon

There is no such thing as a sure bet. Take that shot. If you’re doing something because you believe it’s the only way, take a hint from our new kitten. He didn’t use the stairs; he jumped 7 feet from the edge of the loft.

What big leap can you make today? Are you willing to do something new… today? What?

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Oh! One other thing. Check out today’s related post (What Can You Learn From a Team at Harvard Business School? A Lot.) — you will be inspired.

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Related posts:

1. Starting a New Business: Where Oh Where Do You Begin?
2. What Can You Learn From a Team at Harvard Business School? A Lot.

I wrote a post in March. It was called “Being Right”.

Here it is, the entire post:

“ ‘Sometimes it’s harder on a person to be right than it is to be wrong.’

***

What does this mean to you?

And, can you be wrong about something right now?”

That’s it. Guess what? It received zero comments. In fact, even my related posts plugin refused to find a single related post. Huh.

This post has sort of haunted me.

Just as the quote did when I first read it.

Here’s what I think.

Sometimes I want to be right so bad, I’ll push an issue long past its shelf life. I’ll make arguments for my side until it feels like it’s the only thing I think about. I’ll re-visit conversations and become increasingly, agitate-idly (not a word, I know), soooo not going to drop it.

But… wouldn’t it be easier, or saner, to let it go? (I know, I’m still making words up, but you get the idea.)

When I think about this quote, I think about:

• Giving an inch.
• Having an ability to see the other side.
• Possessing the graciousness to acquiesce.
• Being able to say, “You’re right!”

The result? Wow, life can be so much easier.

To me, this quote says, “don’t dig your heels in so deep a Mac truck couldn’t get you to budge”.

It’s okay to be wrong. (Even if maybe — just possibly — you’re not. But who’s to say, really?) Wouldn’t it be easier to cry “Uncle” sometimes?

You do realize, don’t you, how liberating it is to say, “Hey, I just may be wrong about this.”

For the sake of sanity? Or creativity? Or innovation?

Try this,

“You know, I really think I’m right but that’s okay, I’ve been known to be wrong before.”

Rarely is something solved singularly (is that the correct use of an adverb? I could be wrong). And thank God for that. There are so many ways to do a single thing well. And correctly, or right.

For example, in your business you may have a certain way of doing things. Yet… wouldn’t your team be empowered if you let them find their own solution to a problem? To let them innovate if it supports the larger vision or strategy? Isn’t it okay if they take another route to a solution that works?

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Finally, the very first thing that popped into my mind when I read this quote was the idea that the next time I argue about something with my husband, it would be so much better to say,

“You’re right. I’m wrong.”

Easy, isn’t it?

Your turn. Can you be wrong about something right now? Have you ever suffered by being right? Have you dropped something just for the sake of making life more pleasant?

Related posts:

1. Asking Someone to Mentor You and Part II of the Joel Comm Project
2. Owning a Part Time Business While Working Nine to Five

Last week I published a post called 12 Great Quotes to Help You Think Like an Entrepreneur.

This was my very favorite quote:

“Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships.” — Charles Simic

Wow.

When I first found the quote and decided to include it in my list of 12, I hopped online and did a little research. I always do this when I publish quotes by previously unknown (to me) people. After all, they could be famous for their exploits as a Nazi war criminal…or simply a really bad person who is quoted often, but for dubious reasons.

That’s when I say, “Next.”

However, in Mr. Simics case, I was extremely impressed. What a remarkable story and bio.

Wikipedia refers to him as a Serbian-American poet born May 9, 1938. And I found this little gem in the article:

“Critics have often referred to Simic poems as “tightly constructed Chinese puzzle boxes.”

This statement sums up his talents beautifully…for his quote above is amazingly complex in its simplicity. Think about it. All the others were making ships. Not a bad thing to own a ship and be the captain of your own destiny.

But Simic built a lighthouse

A lighthouse that affected all of those individual ship owners with its guidance to safe harbors. It offered a solution to thousands. It solved a problem faced by the masses at sea. This goes way beyond owning a single ship.

So, how does this idea help you?

Well … let’s take real estate as an example. I own a real investing company. I’ve bought and sold commercial and residential properties for years. But do you know what? Owning an apartment building or a single family property is like owning a ship.

What if we owned the lighthouse?

The perfect story of someone who built a lighthouse

Trey White is a billionaire with a great story. He is the Founder and Chairman of Evolv Health and he is an extraordinary entrepreneur. My husband and I have met Trey on several occasions. When I first met Trey I fell in love with his story.

The following quote from the Evolv Corporate Team page tells it best:

Mr. White’s philosophy is defined by investing in forward-thinking solutions with an eye toward technology and first-to-market advantages… To date, he has placed capital of more than $1.5B into companies he founded or co-founded.

Mr. White co-founded NewHomeSearch, a revolutionary electronic real estate listing service for Realtors® and new home builders, gained 100% penetration in the Dallas market within two years of inception and grew to ten markets with an innovative client-server-based application. NewHomeSearch, renamed HomeBuilder.com in 1996, created the first Internet portal for searching real estate listings, quickly expanded to seventy-five markets and became the official Web site of the National Association of Homebuilders. Mr. White oversaw the merger of HomeBuilder.com with Realtor.com and participated in taking the two companies public as HomeStore.com, raised $800M in two offerings, drove stock to $160 per share and resulted in a $9B market cap at its peak.”

See what I mean about building a lighthouse?

Trey made a fortune by thinking beyond owning a single ship.

Your turn.

Take a minute and think about your business endeavors. Are you the captain of a ship or have you built a lighthouse? What does the Charles Simic quote mean to you? Can you think of other modern day examples that illustrate the concept of a constructing a lighthouse versus a ship?

Related posts:

1. The Entrepreneur’s Resume – Why You Should Have One and Some Tips on Creating One
2. Are You Consciously Creating the Results You Want?

1. George Burns

“Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”

2. Charles Simic

“Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships.”

3. Alan Greenspan

“I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success through honest dealing and strict adherence to the view that, for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well.”

4. Lilly Tomlin

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”

5. Tom Peters

“The best kept secret in the global economy today is this: When your service is AWESOME you get so stinking rich you have to buy new bags to carry all the money home.”

6. Charles Dickens

“Few great men would have got past personnel.”

7. Sam Walton

“The key to success is to get out into the store and listen to what the associates have to say. It’s terribly important for everyone to get involved. Our best ideas come from clerks and stock boys.”

8. Vince Lombardi

“People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society.”

9. Bill Gates

“You’re most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”

10. Albert Einstein

“The significant problems we face today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”

11. Peter Drucker

“So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.”

12. Cynthia Heimel

“When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.”

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This is another vacation post… you know I LOVE your comments. Talk to you next week:)

Related posts:

1. 30 Tips to Becoming a Great Leader
2. Neverware: A Great Story of a Young Entrepreneur

What does transparently competitive behavior cost you?

Here’s what I mean by this.

A person is transparently competitive when they:

• Visit someone’s home to attend a network marketing event and they promote their own networking business to the participants.
• Visit another person’s business (brick and mortar, or online) and they promote their own product or service… without shame.
• Disagree with the other guy in an attempt to demonstrate their own superiority.

And while their intentions may be noble (in their mind), their actions say otherwise. I mean, they may have no real malicious intent to do someone harm, yet actions like these demonstrate a grievous lack of good judgment.

I’m an advocate for:

• Being gracious for an invitation to participate.
• Recognizing the best in people by pointing out a job well done.
• Showing pride in your friends, contemporaries, colleagues, team members and yes, even your ‘competition’.
• Offering kindness and respect.
• Extending compliments.
• Showing gratitude for another person’s contribution to the world… whether that person be a friend, an acquaintance, or a total stranger.
• Promoting your competition.
• Giving thanks for knowledge shared.
• Being a perfect guest.

Anything less can be costly. To your reputation. To your image. And to your bottom line.

All of this is just plain good sense… or is it? I’m sometimes appalled by the behavior of others, especially so in the online world (and by extension email, texting, comments, etc.).

Perhaps it’s a wonderful idea to take a step back and do an honest introspection on how we are being. What are we trying to create?

Your turn. What would you add to my list of how to demonstrate excellence in business? And in life, for that matter?

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Wondering how this way of thinking can explode your business? Let’s talk.

Related posts:

1. On Being Elegant

Years ago my husband practically begged me to close my successful headhunting business. Successful in the sense that I was making money. But I just couldn’t stop bringing work home with me. I lived it. I breathed it. The ups. The downs. Sales can be like that. You live or die based on the decisions of others and sometimes it’s completely out of your hands.

And in the case of executive recruiting I had two sides making decisions — the employer and the prospective employee. Recruiting was an incredibly tough business.

Back to school.

Ultimately I listened to my husband and decided to change careers. Now what? Here was an opportunity to start fresh. So, I thought long and hard about what I had done in the past. What was I really passionate about? Because I was always good at art in high school and in college, and I truly loved it, I decided to attend art school.

On the first day of school, the instructors gathered all of the new students in a large hall. We were promptly told that although we might have been in the top of our classes at our old schools, we would be lucky to receive a “C” average upon graduating their school.

Although I hadn’t been in school for 10 years, I was determined to leave with an “A” average. And I did. With honors. But in order to accomplish this, I was usually at my drafting table until 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning. Art school practically killed me. Or so it felt at the time.

When I graduated it was only to discover I could not get a job and I was woefully unprepared to strike out on my own. Most studios had just moved to electronic design and I had no formal computer graphics training — even though I’d just paid a fortune (in student loans) to attend a top art school. Computers came on the scene practically overnight.

So it was back to school… again.

And more grueling hours. And more debt. With another round of job interviews on the horizon. I had not had a W2 job for years and I wasn’t looking forward to the prospect. At all.

One of the reasons I worked so hard in school was so that I could strike out on my own and start my own design business. I also discovered it was easier said than done.

Fortunately, before I took the plunge and started my own business, one of my computer graphics instructors, who loved my design work, talked her partner into bringing me into their business… as a full partner.

Those hours and hours of study and work paid off.

But here’s the interesting thing.

Until then, it hadn’t occurred to me that I might partner with other designers.

I was looking at it as if I would have to hit the pavement looking for a job (or clients) when I graduated. I really didn’t want to get hired by a design studio where I had to start at the bottom and work my way up. And this would have been my first real W2 job in a decade.

Some would say I was in the right place at the right time. And I would agree. In part.

But just think for a minute.

My instructor realized that partnering would make her business stronger.  She had the idea that teaming up with other talent would make for a better design studio.

This was a learning experience I never forgot. Since that time I’ve built numerous successful businesses based on the concept of partnership.

So here’s my question for you. Who can you partner with today? Have you considered bringing your skills and talents to a collaborative partnership?

Related posts:

1. 8 Ways to Avoid Business Burnout or How to Get Unstuck

I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist in how I do business. That might be a total understatement.

Say I have a meeting across town. I usually leave my office early just in case I run into traffic, or I get lost. Nine times out of ten I arrive early but I always bring work along via my smartphone or laptop.

I sit in my car and work.

I hate being late to meetings. I also expect other people to come to meetings on time. One of the downfalls of being a perfectionist, I suppose.

What I often fail to do is realize there are legitimate reasons the other person might be late.

Fortunately I’m married to a really great guy with loads of compassion. He usually manages to bring me down to earth. For years he’s told me, “Don’t make stuff up. You have no idea what might be going on in the other’s person’s life. What if they had to go to the hospital because someone in their family had an accident?” Things like that.

After years of marriage, it’s finally starting to sink in. Richard is so levelheaded. He usually sees both sides of a story. As a criminal defense attorney and as a trial lawyer he has to see both sides of a story – he always recognizes there are two sides in play.

Or maybe he was just born with a degree of compassion I seem to lack sometimes.

And I am learning. Slowly. I still have knee jerk reactions but I’m finally able to step back and at least try to see both sides.

I had a perfect opportunity to practice this the other day. Monday morning I sent an email to my new property manager suggesting a meeting over at our apartment building. Our to-do list is about a mile long.

To my surprise, instead of hearing back from Mike, I received an ‘out of office email’ stating he had a family emergency and would be unavailable for the next week.

My first reaction was, “And when, exactly, was he planning to tell me he’d be out of pocket for a week? Who’s on whose payroll here anyway? Is there anyone on the job right now?” Frankly I was pretty unhappy with him for not firing off a quick email or text telling me he’d be gone.

See what I mean? Knee jerk reaction.

Yet…

We fired our previous property manager for gross negligence. Mike is fully aware of the entire story. He knows it will take time for me to have full trust in him and to be completely confident that we have the right guy on the job. Emergencies come up but communication remains a high priority.

Then I thought of what my husband would say. He’d say, “Who knows what’s happening? Mike probably has someone taking over for him while he’s gone.”

For now, I can think good thoughts and pray Mike’s family is okay. I can show a little compassion.

I’ve also scheduled a meeting at the property with another member of his team. My husband might be right. I may find that Mike’s work has been delegated and things are actually happening over there.

Ultimately it’s my job to be sure.

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After writing this post I met up with our leasing agent, Ian, over at the property. Turns out he’s been sending some urgent messages to Mike, with apologies for disturbing him during an emergency. Nonetheless, he needed to make some time sensitive decisions and he did not have the authority to do so without Mike’s consent. Mike was not getting back with him.

Ian also didn’t know he could come to me for decisions. A critical oversight. On my part.

This development adds another dimension to my story. The question of delegation. And, as I’ve said, ultimately the buck stops at my door.

Does your team know they can come to you in the absence of their direct supervisor? Do you have plans in place when emergencies come up?

If not, I hope you let my story be your inspiration to put some plans in place.

Your turn.

Does this remind you of any times where you were faced with a similar dilemma? What’s your best advice on great communication in business?

No related posts.

I cut my teeth on real estate investing with single family properties. I flipped, renovated, bought, held and sold duplexes and single family homes. As an investor – not as a real estate agent.

One day we decided to meet with the owner of a small boutique brokerage house. The firm specialized in small to medium sized apartment buildings.

I briefly considered starting with a younger broker in the firm. Someone who might be really hungry for business. Unfortunately my ego got in the way. It was the owner or no one for me.

His receptionist brought us back to the conference room. I almost always take the chair at the head of the table. To me, it’s kind of a joke. I like to see what the other guy will do. The one who usually sits in that chair. I also like to subtly send the message that I’m a client with an agenda. And that I’m there do to business.

As the meeting began, and without any prompting from me, my husband said, “I’m only along for the ride, Marc, my wife is the real estate expert here. So, talk to her.”

I was pretty impressed with my husband. I didn’t ask him to say that… but I did want to lead the meeting. Alas, Marc couldn’t care less what my husband said. He spent the next 45 minutes pretty much ignoring me… and talking to my husband.

And that’s when I got my first inkling of what a good ol’ boy world commercial real estate was.

Finally, once this guy Marc got it in his head that I would be buying the apartment building, he said, “Start with a duplex”. I don’t think he quite added ‘little lady’ but it was pretty much there in neon flashing above his head.

It was all very motivating.

My Mom tells a story about when she announced her decision to go to law school to a group of ‘friends’. An attorney pointed a finger at her and said with a boisterous guffaw, “She thinks she can be a lawyer. Hahaha”

She had just finished undergraduate school as a single mom of six — at the age of 35. How the heck did he know whether she could make it or not?

By the way, she’s been practicing law for a long time now.

And we started with a 30 unit building.

The moral to the story.

My Mom claims she finished law school on the pure grit she got from that single comment. Nothing inspired her as singly as that misguided pig headed lawyer who knew absolutely nothing about her. I knew I had the education and experience to move into multifamily investing on a larger scale than a duplex.

If you are truly excited by something, or passionate about a goal, don’t let naysayers get in your way.

With education and some true grit, you can be anything you want.

Inspiration can be found in “No”.

When was the last time you accomplished something in spite of being told it would be impossible or beyond your abilities?

Related posts:

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Although traditionally the story does not end like this, the wolf can blow down a house that has been carefully built brick by brick.

With a single puff.

Success can lead to arrogance. Self promotion is a fine line we all have to walk. The trouble starts if you lose sight of why you were in business to begin with. When you carefully built your image as someone who had a desire to serve your fellow man, you were on the right track.

When things start becoming about you, and no longer about your customer, dark winds are on the horizon. The wolf might be at your door.

If you’ve ever watched The Secret or Tapping the Source you’ll know what I mean. It is really easy to see which of the participants are authentic and which are coming from ego. It amazes me when I witness someone take themselves so seriously they almost ask you bow in praise of them. What a strange way to go about asking for respect, or for someone’s trust. Respect and trust are earned, not demanded.

The media can be a dangerous platform. Whether you’re seen through your blog, television, print advertising or any social media platform…people are buying you. They buy your personality and the ideal you represent. If you start believing in your own greatness and it shows in your voice, or in your message, you are on a treacherous path.

When stats become king.

When was the last time you bought something from a company because they told you they were the greatest? That they had more customers than God? When a company starts throwing stats in your face, it becomes obvious things are no longer about you. Especially when the stats are transparently exaggerated.

It can take years to carefully build and nurture an image. It can take your customer 10 seconds to decide you are not who they thought you were.

All is not lost, though. You can be humble in your success by showing your customers you care more about them. Take a minute to remember that you care more about those you first set out to inspire, or to help solve a problem, than you do about your own winning numbers.

Your ego should be checked at your CPA or banker’s door. Let them count all the money your success has generated while you continue to send the message to your customer that you are in business for them.

Have you ever felt let down by someone you had a great deal of respect for? Or watched a company implode on their own success? What techniques do you use to put your customer first? How do you deal with success?

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“A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

We are elegant when we are:

Dignified in our behavior.

Succinct in our communication.

Fair in our description of others.

Simple in our problem solving.

Graceful in our acceptance of others.

Gentle.

Creative in our approach or perspective.

Introspective before we react.

Collaborative versus competitive.

Honest about our mistakes.

Humble.

Unadorned.

A good friend.

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Elegance is a seduction. It is a grace of style. Of being in a way that attracts rather then repels.

What would you add to this list?

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When you dress like a million bucks, people treat you like a million bucks.

…and pretty soon, you’ll get more comfortable in that skin.

When you seem capable, others will see you that way. When you walk and talk with confidence behind every gesture and nuance, you will become that person.

When someone tells you can do anything often enough, eventually you’ll believe it. Even when it’s you doing the telling.

The telling part is good.

The BEING part is great.

When you take actions, actions that produce results – no matter how small — you are showing yourself that you can do, or be, anything. Anything? Yes, anything.

Tell me something is impossible and I’ll work really hard to prove you wrong. Tell me I’m capable of anything I set my mind to and I won’t let you down.

What motivates you? How do you talk to yourself? Do you believe that you are capable of great things?

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I kind of live by the philosophy ‘don’t explain’. Some would call it ruthless or inconsiderate. I call it good business.

The amazing thing is that when you start explaining things, you’ve usually done something that needs explaining. Like you arrived late. Or you said you’d get something done – and you didn’t. Or you rescheduled something — over and over.

Why do we make promises? And why do we make promises we know we can’t keep?

I know. I know. Things happen. All the time. But if you keep it in your head that you do not want to be someone who makes explanations, you might be more careful with your planning (and your promises).

And then there’s the other side of it too.

I usually have pretty solid reasons for doing what I do. My main goal usually isn’t to look good so I don’t spend a lot of time trying to. Explanations are generally superfluous. Doing the right thing isn’t.

When do you find yourself doing the most explaining?

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I’m barely inspired lately.

I’m totally exhausted.

And I’m elated this is almost at an end.

Last fall we fired a property management company (for extreme gross negligence). That’s a story of its own. And not a short one. Sadly. Then we hired a new ‘professional’ company (or so we thought). Now they are gone (their reputation suggested they were perfect for the job — but they totally flaked on their promises). That too is a long story. Both stories should probably be told. Some day. I know I’ve learned a great deal.

However, today’s story is about what happens when you don’t have a team working with you. It’s about the perils of doing everything yourself.

It’s about working IN your business not ON your business.

This entire week I’ve struggled to feel inspired enough to write. And then a light went off in my head.

Of course I’m not inspired.

During a normal day I’m meeting tons of people. I’m hearing stories. I’m reading things that truly inspire me. I’m listening to the radio, exploring the internet, constantly exposed to snippets of great ideas and thoughts.

I’m strategizing on where my projects are going. I’m looking to the future and working on things that support my vision. I’m achieving goals. I’m around people who are in action and doing great things.

Instead, this past few weeks, I’ve been working 14 hour days while scrambling to fit my other businesses in. I’ve been buried in paperwork, interviews and phone calls. Operating and managing a 29 unit apartment building is a job. I’m not growing a business, I’ve been buried in running a business.

I lost touch with my favorite people. I’ve had almost no time to visit my favorite blogs. Friends like Phil at Philz Corner are tweeting things like,

@bigfishtopdogs You are quiet lately! Still busy with the business? Hope all is going good. =]

(Thank you Phil, it’s nice to know someone realized I disappeared. Don’t send out the rescue dogs just yet!)

I have disappeared. My husband hardly sees me. We have a quick dinner and it’s back to work. I’m not reading for pleasure or following the news.

The net result? I’m barely inspired. My typical energy level has dissipated. It’s been sucked into the minutiae of a million little tasks. Tasks somebody else should be doing.

This is not a woe is me post. I’m writing this to demonstrate what happens when you do not have a team to handle the daily tasks. Those tasks that keep your business running.

Hopefully this will help make the point that if you want to grow a business, if you want to be inspired and have the bandwidth to be innovative and creative, you’ve got to hand off the running of your business(s) to someone else.

You cannot run a business alone and expect it to be a success.

You can’t be cheap and try to save a buck by not hiring staff.

You’ve got to have a team. It will pay off in spades. Having a team allows you to monetize your business. It frees you up to do the things that will grow your business. It allows you to keep your eye on future results.

It also contributes to a growing economy. This is what entrepreneurship is all about.

Has my story helped you step back and take a look at what you’re doing? Are you doing everything yourself? Are you working super hard or are you working super smart?

***

I’ll admit, I have had some fun this past week. I did a couple of Skype calls with some blogger friends (thanks Phil & Stacey!). I got my eCourse done from start to finish (something I sat on for a full three months). Stacey over at The Beginner Businesswoman interviewed me for her Meet the Experts Column. I took on two new wonderful coaching clients.

Collaborating.

Engaging.

Connecting.

Creating product.

Getting new clients.

These are the things I want to be doing. btw — we did find a new management team. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Today I’m going to ask you to hop on over to Stacey Nobbe’s blog. You’ll recognize her as The Beginner Businesswoman from her frequent comments here.

In a word, I ADORE Stacey and I think you’ll love her too.

This week Stacey has graciously included me in her interview series Meet the Experts (read her post at this link). I’m truly honored to be highlighted on her on blog.

But this post is about Stacey.

She sums it up nicely in her ‘About Me’ statement:

“I’m a wife, mother, teacher and friend, with a dream, an invention, and the drive to make it all come true.”

Stacey is the mother of five kids (and yes, they all still live at home), she’s married and she teaches full time. Yet she made a commitment to do something every day to get her business started.

And she writes about it on her blog.

Her commitment to business and success is off the charts. I would put Stacey in the top 1% of those who are truly in action, connecting with others, setting goals and learning from every single experience she goes through on her way to building her business.

You want to be inspired? Read her blog – regularly.

She has created a wonderful space where she shares her stories in a delightfully disarming way. She has a generous heart and is inspiringly insightful.

Last week Stacey left a comment on my post Got a Great Business Idea? Why Are You Sitting On It?. I just have to share it with you.

Her comment says it all:

“For me, in the beginning, I lacked the self-confidence to believe that I had what it took to take my idea and market it successfully. When I first started my blog, I had the fear of failing in front of so many people. If I tried this business venture “quietly” and failed, no one would know about it, and I would still have my pride. Now that I’ve “put it out there” with my blog, everyone will know if I fail.

I do realize now that since I’m committed to taking action in front of my audience, I’ve increased my chances of success. I’m also finding that I’m gaining respect from many people, and I have people who are willing to help me to be successful! I’m starting to hear people talk about how their board game boxes are falling apart, and they can’t wait for me to manufacture the Game Hero. It’s still scary, and extremely exhausting, though.”

Stacey truly lives what she writes. I know you’ll love her.

You will be inspired by her journey.

***

What inspires you? How do you keep working diligently toward your goals?

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Sometimes it’s harder on a person to be right than it is to be wrong.

***

What does this mean to you?

And, can you be wrong about something right now?

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In business, your team is your number one asset. Casting a cold eye over prospective team members is your job. In this task, the old saying, “Nice guys finish last” is worth considering.

These tips will help you approach the job of hiring professionals or contractors with a careful and critical eye.

References can be worthless. Industry reputation should be your guide. What do non-references say about the professional? For example, are they integrity driven? Don’t stop at one recommendation. And for heaven’s sake, don’t rely solely on the references provided by the person you are hiring. Make some phone calls, ask around.

A professional might wear only one hat really well. If your professional has overestimated their ability to perform multiple tasks, you lose. Not them. Be clear about your tasks and carefully analyze whether the professional has the team and experience to deliver — before you bring them on board.

Verbal commitments are risky at best. If your professional balks at papering a deal, move on. Performance is impossible to measure when two possible interpretations of outcome exist. You do not have a deal until the ink is dry.

If motives are questionable, it’s your job to ferret out who stands to win. When an offer is presented as being in your best interest, and not of the professional presenting the offer, something is amiss. Look for language that can be translated as “Help us, help us.” Look carefully for terms that are not in your favor.

Listen to your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t.

Professionals do not always have your best interests at heart. “I’ve got your back” is a rare occurrence. Conversely, the professional that delivers in hard times deserves every recommendation you can throw his way.

Your turn. What great, and not so great, experiences have you had when hiring professionals to do a job for you? What would you do differently?

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I read a ‘news’ article the other day that stayed with me. The author was complaining that people just didn’t write anything new and amazing anymore. He wrote that if you couldn’t be truly unique, you should hang it up and stop writing. Or lose readers. This struck me as an endearingly naive conviction. And as a belief that could be terribly self-limiting.

I know a lot of extremely successful people who would probably take issue with this point of view. Creatives too. As well as leaders and wonderful people who manage to provide inspiration to thousands, every day.

Actually, there isn’t all that much out there that IS truly new. Very little has never been heard before. New technologies, yes. But most information has been repackaged, re-prettied, modernized and re-purposed over and over again. And I think that’s great.

Would you like to know why I think so?

The book Think & Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill, comes to mind. Do you realize how many times Hill’s ideas have been repackaged over the past 7 decades? I can name at least 10 very well known gurus, authors and speakers who have redesigned his information and passed it off as their own through books, webinars, programs, and speaking engagements. They give it a little twist and mark it with their unique brand.

The reason this works is because they add a fresh perspective. They share it through their own personal experiences. They spin the information so that while you might not have really heard it or embraced it the first time around, they present it in a way that speaks to you. You get it. Maybe you weren’t ready the first time you heard the info. But it’s also highly likely that you’ll hear it differently when presented by someone new.

And finally, it makes sense. You take action.

Remember this the next time you sit down to write or have a desire to share your unique perspective with the rest of the world. Your mark — your personal uniqueness — can speak to millions. You lay your own foundation with your words. You bring a totally unique flavor or color to everything you touch.

**********

Have you read Think & Grow Rich? You can download a free e-copy here on bigifishtopdogs.com. I won’t even send you follow-up autoresponders. Just the book. For you. Check it out! See for yourself why Napoleon Hill has been imitated and copied for decades.

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“I’m firing him. I don’t need a QA man who can’t actually tell me the bad news.”

This is a quote from a novel I read last week. It’s a memorable line and one worth thinking about.

If you have someone who reports to you, who has direct control over any aspect of your business or to whom you’ve delegated responsibility, they need to tell you the truth.

It’s human nature, I suppose, to present a pretty picture. Even our kids do it. They tell us what we want to hear. Some people do it to protect their pride or job or even their freedom. But if you have someone in a right hand position — with a direct impact on your livelihood, businesses, investments or assets — they need to give it to you straight. No sugarcoating.

And it’s your job to make this clear.

Take a minute today and think about this. Who reports directly to you? It could be your stockbroker, your banker, your employees, your hired contractors, your kid’s teacher, etc. Do they know that they can come to you with the truth, and that you can handle the truth? That you can stay calm in a crisis? That you don’t take things personally? That the best way to solve a problem is at the very beginning, when you first learn of it?

And, rather than firing someone, wouldn’t you rather set some guidelines on communication upfront?

(Comments welcome.)

source: The Windup Girl

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