There’s a million dollar—no, a multi-million dollar—tip in this post. Actually there’s more than one. Get ready. I’m going to talk to you about your mindset.

We’ve been having a little discussion around here lately about coaching. Specifically we’ve been talking about the kind of coaching people want. I’ve been speaking with a lot of colleagues about this too. And surprisingly (to me) it seems most people are looking for a coach who will tell them what to do…step by step.

The online conversation is here:

What Would You Be Doing Right Now if You Had a Coach?

Your Mind vs. Paint by Numbers

So, let me throw a little gas on the fire.

And I’ll fly in the face of what most people are saying while I’m at it. Step by step coaching is nice… but it won’t turn you into a millionaire.

How you think will.

I agree that step-by-step coaching can be effective. The idea of “building success, upon success, upon success” as a good friend says, is a powerful motivator. Yet how you think, and what you bring to the table in terms of mindset, will magnify your small successes ten, one hundred, even a thousand fold.

Let’s buy an apartment building.

Think about it this way. What if you wanted to buy an apartment building but you knew your funds were limited?

Say you go ahead and hire a coach to direct you on how to buy an apartment complex. So far so good. (And I will stress that it is important to become educated in any new endeavor before blindly jumping in.)

You start looking for apartment deals with your new found real estate investing knowledge. Your coach helps you learn to run the numbers on deals. She helps you study the market. She suggests some online sites where you can find real estate listings. And ultimately, with the funds at hand, you end up buying a fourplex… a four-unit property rather than the large apartment building you envisioned.

You’re the disappointed owner of a fourplex. You hired a coach that did what you expected. She coached you on how to do everything yourself. By yourself. Step by step.

But there were limitations.

Now let’s really buy an apartment building.

Let’s say you hire a coach who understands that your psychology plays as big a role as your newly acquired fundamental knowledge of deal analysis and real estate acquisition.

This coach has you start looking at big deals immediately. And making offers on those properties. She has you start interviewing and meeting top real estate professionals in your market. Professionals dealing exclusively in multi-family investing.

You start building a team. This is not a do it yourself endeavor.

You connect with mentors in the field. With brokers. With other apartment owners. With vendors. And contractors.

Rather than find a property on LoopNet (the multifamily equivalent of the MLS) you source deals that haven’t been shopped around yet. And through your connections and networking, you find a great off market apartment deal.

But wait a minute! Didn’t I say earlier that you had limited funds? I did. You heard me right. Here’s the beautiful thing about this story. Coach number two had you thinking in terms of abundance. In terms of building a team. Not going solo. She had you connect with professionals that brought very specific knowledge to the table.

She showed you how to believe big. How to surround yourself with other people who had the knowledge you lack. She didn’t expect you to know how to do everything yourself. She didn’t expect you to DO everything yourself. She showed you that you could fund a big deal with other people’s money. The big OPM.

And here’s what a lot of beginner entrepreneurs never realize.

When you find, or create, a great opportunity (business, real estate, you name it) the money will find you. People don’t pass on great deals.

But you’ve got to believe it.

Your awesome coach helped you think in terms of abundance. She didn’t offer do it yourself, step-by-step coaching. She helped you think in terms of building a team. In terms of overcoming great fear. In terms of being more capable than you would have ever believed possible. Of doing bigger deals.

So, ask yourself this. Which coach would you rather hire? The one who is going to show you baby steps to a fourplex? Or the one who’s going to scare the cr*p out of you? And in so doing show you how to operate with a mindset that you can apply to any endeavor you want, any time in the future?

Okay… it’s your turn. Can’t wait to hear what you all think of this post!

Related posts:

1. Starting a New Business: Where Oh Where Do You Begin?
2. What Would You Be Doing Right Now if You Had a Coach?

In a recent post, I asked the question “If you hired a coach today, what’s the number one thing you would work on?” I also conducted ‘live’ interviews, where I asked, “What are you looking for in a coach?” and, “Have you ever had a coach before?”

Surprising Answers

To my great surprise, very few of those I talked to had an interest in coaching around psychology. They wanted a coach who would:

• Tell them what to do.
• Give them a step by step game plan.

In other words, they were looking for direction. A girlfriend told me, “Look I don’t want to talk about how I think or where I’m coming from in my heart and mind, I just want someone to tell me what to do.”

A friend from one of my mastermind groups told me she didn’t want to hear how she could “get out of her own way.”

Most people I talked to wanted step-by-step coaching.

Yet…

Your Mind is Your Greatest Asset

I believe our subconscious drives our decision making. And I believe our mind is our biggest asset. This is exactly what I write about. I do everything in my power to give a voice to the idea that we create through our thoughts and we deliver results by possessing the right mindset.

So, my little ask campaign* has me stumped. (*see footnote)

The Easy Road

Most of you know I’ve been coaching for years. And I love step by step coaching. It’s easy to do. In fact, it’s too easy. For both the coach and the coachee.

The challenge is in finding what’s really holding you back from greatness. A coach can’t help you find an answer if they’re telling you what to do. And if we’re not getting help from our coaches on how to think, where are we getting it? Napoleon Hill knew our success was a direct result of how we thought… back in 1937. Has something changed? Are processes simply an easier way to exist?

I may begin a coaching relationship with a step by step process, heavy in accountability, but I promise by the end of the coaching process my clients know how to move on their own. So my question today is this: Do we really want a paint by numbers existence?

I’d love to know your thoughts on this.

(And yes, this discussion walks a thin line between the role of a coach and a consultant. I get that:) I’ll save that topic for another post… )

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footnote:

*Ask Campaigns

An ask campaign is one where you ask your clients what they’re looking for. It’s that simple.

But most businesses don’t do it.

My conversations and interviews about coaching are part of a typical ask campaign. Want to know what your clients are willing (and dying) to pay for? Ask them! How can you provide solutions to problems if you don’t know what problems your clients are facing? Have you created a product or service that no one wants? Better to find out early in the game, not later.

Have you conducted an ask campaign for your business? When? Times change. Needs shift. Desires are fickle.

You may be surprised by the answers you get. And it’s really simple to do. You can ask via email, or post your questions (or surveys… another great tool!) on your website or blog, or you can do a simple one on one conversation with your existing clients. This is a great tip.

Related posts:

1. The Heart of a Lion and the Mind of a Sheep
2. What Would You Be Doing Right Now if You Had a Coach?

“But I’ve always done it this way!”

Oh wait, that’s not what I meant. I’m confusing things that work (or may not work) with the fear of failing if I should try something new.

“Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone.  Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking.” ~Tim McMahon

There is no such thing as a sure bet. Take that shot. If you’re doing something because you believe it’s the only way, take a hint from our new kitten. He didn’t use the stairs; he jumped 7 feet from the edge of the loft.

What big leap can you make today? Are you willing to do something new… today? What?

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Oh! One other thing. Check out today’s related post (What Can You Learn From a Team at Harvard Business School? A Lot.) — you will be inspired.

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Related posts:

1. Starting a New Business: Where Oh Where Do You Begin?
2. What Can You Learn From a Team at Harvard Business School? A Lot.

I wrote a post in March. It was called “Being Right”.

Here it is, the entire post:

“ ‘Sometimes it’s harder on a person to be right than it is to be wrong.’

***

What does this mean to you?

And, can you be wrong about something right now?”

That’s it. Guess what? It received zero comments. In fact, even my related posts plugin refused to find a single related post. Huh.

This post has sort of haunted me.

Just as the quote did when I first read it.

Here’s what I think.

Sometimes I want to be right so bad, I’ll push an issue long past its shelf life. I’ll make arguments for my side until it feels like it’s the only thing I think about. I’ll re-visit conversations and become increasingly, agitate-idly (not a word, I know), soooo not going to drop it.

But… wouldn’t it be easier, or saner, to let it go? (I know, I’m still making words up, but you get the idea.)

When I think about this quote, I think about:

• Giving an inch.
• Having an ability to see the other side.
• Possessing the graciousness to acquiesce.
• Being able to say, “You’re right!”

The result? Wow, life can be so much easier.

To me, this quote says, “don’t dig your heels in so deep a Mac truck couldn’t get you to budge”.

It’s okay to be wrong. (Even if maybe — just possibly — you’re not. But who’s to say, really?) Wouldn’t it be easier to cry “Uncle” sometimes?

You do realize, don’t you, how liberating it is to say, “Hey, I just may be wrong about this.”

For the sake of sanity? Or creativity? Or innovation?

Try this,

“You know, I really think I’m right but that’s okay, I’ve been known to be wrong before.”

Rarely is something solved singularly (is that the correct use of an adverb? I could be wrong). And thank God for that. There are so many ways to do a single thing well. And correctly, or right.

For example, in your business you may have a certain way of doing things. Yet… wouldn’t your team be empowered if you let them find their own solution to a problem? To let them innovate if it supports the larger vision or strategy? Isn’t it okay if they take another route to a solution that works?

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Finally, the very first thing that popped into my mind when I read this quote was the idea that the next time I argue about something with my husband, it would be so much better to say,

“You’re right. I’m wrong.”

Easy, isn’t it?

Your turn. Can you be wrong about something right now? Have you ever suffered by being right? Have you dropped something just for the sake of making life more pleasant?

Related posts:

1. Asking Someone to Mentor You and Part II of the Joel Comm Project
2. Owning a Part Time Business While Working Nine to Five

I usually wake up in the morning thinking, “How can I think differently today?”

Partly because that’s just what I do. And partly because I write a blog about how to think like an entrepreneur. And to me that means thinking about things that would never occur to the majority.

I hate routine. Routine anything.

Here’s what you can do…

Be YOU, but a super condensed version of you.

Campbell’s soup without a can of water mixed in. Exaggerate your personality. Why not try it for a day? I have three sisters and when I hang out with any of them I can make them laugh all day long. Why? Because I don’t hold back. I’m totally goofy. I try to make them laugh. I say things off the top of my head. I make faces and I make fun of myself.

Does this work with my brothers? Sometimes, but they think they’re pretty cool. They’d rather be the funny ones. Does this work on everyone else? You’d be AMAZED at how people respond. This one little thing can change your life.

Talk to the radio, TV or Internet.

Tell the side of the story they’re not telling. This is one I really love. I play devil’s advocate all the time. Otherwise I’d go crazy. Don’t buy everything you read and hear. Ask “what if”. What if the story you just heard on the radio was a crock of sh*t? There are always two sides to a story. What do you imagine the other side would say?

This is the best way to completely change your thinking. Even if you agree… disagree for a change. How else can you come up with new ideas? Do you really want someone to spoon feed you with their ideas?

It helps to do this out loud. In the mirror. You may be saying some outrageous things… it really helps to have someone to look at, even if it’s just you.

Test an idea or project.

If you’re working on a book and you’re tired of working on it… stop. Pick your best chapter and send it to someone you like and trust. Ask for feedback. Give your product away for free to the first 10 people who want it and ask them what they think.

A little feedback can totally rejuvenate you. It can re-inspire you to work on, and improve, something you might be getting really tired of. Have you ever worked on something until you’re sick of trying to perfect it? Let someone else help.

**Break the rules**

Wear shoes that don’t match.

Or show up to a meeting, or your office, wearing socks, no shoes. The person who points it out just opened the door for a great conversation.

Leave your bed unmade.

And if that’s normal for you, then make your bed. If you’re a neat freak, like me, leaving a messy room can give you permission to act like a completely different person. It can be liberating to break the rules. Even if they’re rules you made (or had ingrained into you at an early age).

Part your hair on the other side.

You’ll feel funny. You’ll probably look great. And no one will really notice anyway. Except you. And that’s the point.

Take another route.

Take the scenic route to wherever you’re going today. If you work at home, walk around the block to get to your office. Ride your bike. Ever notice how different the world looks, and smells, as it passes by — from the seat of motorcycle?

Eat something bizarre for breakfast.

Or lunch. I drink my coffee with cream. But when I serve it black, every time I take a sip I’m like, “Oh yeah… this IS different. It’s awful.” But for the hour it takes me to drink an entire mug, as it grows colder and colder, I remember I’m supposed to tackle everything I’m doing with a new and fresh perspective.

Ok this is why this is important.

When you let apology, reticence, habit or routine be a part of how you move through your day, you can’t possibly be creative. It becomes harder and harder to have original thoughts. Routine is… well, it’s just a total party downer. Unfun.

Your turn. How do you change the way you think? Do you love a routine or are you totally cool stepping away from habitual behaviors? Let go… comment like you’ve never commented before:)

No related posts.

How’s your day going?

Seriously… I really want to know. How are you? What are you doing?

• What’s the one thing you’ll work on today that you’ll love doing?
• What’s that one thing you’re putting off?

Right now, I’m writing this post, which is a hell of a lot of fun.

And I get to support my friend Melanie Kissell who is participating in a guest post blog contest! This link will take you to her awesome post, 5 Tantalizing Ways To Expose Yourself On Social Media. Check it out. It’s really, really good!

You can help her win by sharing the post with your social media friends and by leaving a comment under her post.

Then…

there’s that one thing I’m not looking forward to… and it has to get done today. Actually it should have been done yesterday, but I thought yesterday was Monday. I kind of screwed that up. I even missed a call I was supposed to be on. And my friend has not emailed me back to tell me she forgives me (*yet*).

I have a pile of mail that’s a mile high. That’s the not fun part of my day today:( It’s what I get for letting it pile up. Actually that’s how I always do it… works better than dropping everything every time the letter carrier delivers the mail. And of course, I’ve been on vacation… yuck, it’s not always fun to come back to the office is it?

But it’s still a pile of mail that’s threatening to topple over on my desk and bury me avalanche style.

So how do you take a not so perfect day and make it great? You look for something perfect or flawless in everything you do. In everyone you talk to.

For example, I know that in my pile of mail there are at least two SOC cards. How do I know? Well it’s that telltale blue ink on the envelope. And while they are automatically generated, someone did take the time to put me in their database. That’s sort of nice.

It certainly adds a smile or two to a pile of invoices and marketing letters. And junk.

And that makes the pile perfect.

Supporting my friend Melanie is the icing on the cake. You’ll love her post, why not go take a look, tweet, share and comment? Thank you.

Hey, and leave a comment telling us about your day! How do you see something perfect in everything around you?

No related posts.

Last week I published a post called 12 Great Quotes to Help You Think Like an Entrepreneur.

This was my very favorite quote:

“Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships.” — Charles Simic

Wow.

When I first found the quote and decided to include it in my list of 12, I hopped online and did a little research. I always do this when I publish quotes by previously unknown (to me) people. After all, they could be famous for their exploits as a Nazi war criminal…or simply a really bad person who is quoted often, but for dubious reasons.

That’s when I say, “Next.”

However, in Mr. Simics case, I was extremely impressed. What a remarkable story and bio.

Wikipedia refers to him as a Serbian-American poet born May 9, 1938. And I found this little gem in the article:

“Critics have often referred to Simic poems as “tightly constructed Chinese puzzle boxes.”

This statement sums up his talents beautifully…for his quote above is amazingly complex in its simplicity. Think about it. All the others were making ships. Not a bad thing to own a ship and be the captain of your own destiny.

But Simic built a lighthouse

A lighthouse that affected all of those individual ship owners with its guidance to safe harbors. It offered a solution to thousands. It solved a problem faced by the masses at sea. This goes way beyond owning a single ship.

So, how does this idea help you?

Well … let’s take real estate as an example. I own a real investing company. I’ve bought and sold commercial and residential properties for years. But do you know what? Owning an apartment building or a single family property is like owning a ship.

What if we owned the lighthouse?

The perfect story of someone who built a lighthouse

Trey White is a billionaire with a great story. He is the Founder and Chairman of Evolv Health and he is an extraordinary entrepreneur. My husband and I have met Trey on several occasions. When I first met Trey I fell in love with his story.

The following quote from the Evolv Corporate Team page tells it best:

Mr. White’s philosophy is defined by investing in forward-thinking solutions with an eye toward technology and first-to-market advantages… To date, he has placed capital of more than $1.5B into companies he founded or co-founded.

Mr. White co-founded NewHomeSearch, a revolutionary electronic real estate listing service for Realtors® and new home builders, gained 100% penetration in the Dallas market within two years of inception and grew to ten markets with an innovative client-server-based application. NewHomeSearch, renamed HomeBuilder.com in 1996, created the first Internet portal for searching real estate listings, quickly expanded to seventy-five markets and became the official Web site of the National Association of Homebuilders. Mr. White oversaw the merger of HomeBuilder.com with Realtor.com and participated in taking the two companies public as HomeStore.com, raised $800M in two offerings, drove stock to $160 per share and resulted in a $9B market cap at its peak.”

See what I mean about building a lighthouse?

Trey made a fortune by thinking beyond owning a single ship.

Your turn.

Take a minute and think about your business endeavors. Are you the captain of a ship or have you built a lighthouse? What does the Charles Simic quote mean to you? Can you think of other modern day examples that illustrate the concept of a constructing a lighthouse versus a ship?

Related posts:

1. The Entrepreneur’s Resume – Why You Should Have One and Some Tips on Creating One
2. Are You Consciously Creating the Results You Want?

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung

My husband loves attending seminars – of all kinds. Business seminars, personal growth weekends, networking events; over the years he’s introduced me to some life changing experiences. (Thanks Richard.)

I remember in the early years of our marriage, he wanted me to attend a personal growth seminar. I dug in my heels and said, “No, you can go to this one without me.” My gut reaction was that it was some kind of cult… after all what kind of group keeps you working 18 hours straight in a hotel room with a bunch of strangers? It sounded like a serious sleep deprivation technique–with the ultimate goal of brainwashing the participants.

Ultimately I attended my own session. Then I went on to participate in almost every other seminar they offered… with my husband. We did ropes courses, mountain climbing, solo overnight camping and team exercises based on pure trust… it was amazing.

I’ve been thinking lately about another event we attended together.

During the event we were asked,

“What if, when you react to someone in a judgmental manner, you’re doing it because the other person is mirroring something about yourself you’d really rather avoid?”

Our host introduced the idea that when we have someone in our life who truly irritates us, our higher self just might have been the one who invited the other person to show up and push our buttons. What would Jung think of this?

He suggested we look at this as a gift from the other person and as an opportunity to see something in ourselves we might be avoiding.

Here’s an example.

Your results really bother me.

Have you ever reacted to someone’s success in a judgmental way? It’s easy to fall into that trap. It’s easy to say, “Well sure those numbers are great, but I would never do what he’s doing”.

Instead, why not stop and ask, “What is it about the other person’s success really bothers me?

Perhaps the other person is doing nothing wrong… just going about things in a way you don’t embrace. So what is it about the other guy’s success? Does he or she work harder? Are they doing a ton of marketing? Do they have a better product? Are they making more money?

Is it because they are promoting themselves at every opportunity… and you don’t? Hmmm. Maybe it’s time to think, “Why not promote the heck out of myself?”

We have a golden opportunity to learn from our reaction to other people. And we can choose to see our response to the other guy as a gift.

Your turn. What pushes your buttons? Where do you see an opportunity to learn from the stuff that really irritates you? Who can’t you stand, and why? What annoys you… and what can you learn about yourself from it?

Related posts:

1. You… Just Like Clark Kent. Glasses… No Glasses.

Years ago my husband practically begged me to close my successful headhunting business. Successful in the sense that I was making money. But I just couldn’t stop bringing work home with me. I lived it. I breathed it. The ups. The downs. Sales can be like that. You live or die based on the decisions of others and sometimes it’s completely out of your hands.

And in the case of executive recruiting I had two sides making decisions — the employer and the prospective employee. Recruiting was an incredibly tough business.

Back to school.

Ultimately I listened to my husband and decided to change careers. Now what? Here was an opportunity to start fresh. So, I thought long and hard about what I had done in the past. What was I really passionate about? Because I was always good at art in high school and in college, and I truly loved it, I decided to attend art school.

On the first day of school, the instructors gathered all of the new students in a large hall. We were promptly told that although we might have been in the top of our classes at our old schools, we would be lucky to receive a “C” average upon graduating their school.

Although I hadn’t been in school for 10 years, I was determined to leave with an “A” average. And I did. With honors. But in order to accomplish this, I was usually at my drafting table until 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning. Art school practically killed me. Or so it felt at the time.

When I graduated it was only to discover I could not get a job and I was woefully unprepared to strike out on my own. Most studios had just moved to electronic design and I had no formal computer graphics training — even though I’d just paid a fortune (in student loans) to attend a top art school. Computers came on the scene practically overnight.

So it was back to school… again.

And more grueling hours. And more debt. With another round of job interviews on the horizon. I had not had a W2 job for years and I wasn’t looking forward to the prospect. At all.

One of the reasons I worked so hard in school was so that I could strike out on my own and start my own design business. I also discovered it was easier said than done.

Fortunately, before I took the plunge and started my own business, one of my computer graphics instructors, who loved my design work, talked her partner into bringing me into their business… as a full partner.

Those hours and hours of study and work paid off.

But here’s the interesting thing.

Until then, it hadn’t occurred to me that I might partner with other designers.

I was looking at it as if I would have to hit the pavement looking for a job (or clients) when I graduated. I really didn’t want to get hired by a design studio where I had to start at the bottom and work my way up. And this would have been my first real W2 job in a decade.

Some would say I was in the right place at the right time. And I would agree. In part.

But just think for a minute.

My instructor realized that partnering would make her business stronger.  She had the idea that teaming up with other talent would make for a better design studio.

This was a learning experience I never forgot. Since that time I’ve built numerous successful businesses based on the concept of partnership.

So here’s my question for you. Who can you partner with today? Have you considered bringing your skills and talents to a collaborative partnership?

Related posts:

1. 8 Ways to Avoid Business Burnout or How to Get Unstuck

I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist in how I do business. That might be a total understatement.

Say I have a meeting across town. I usually leave my office early just in case I run into traffic, or I get lost. Nine times out of ten I arrive early but I always bring work along via my smartphone or laptop.

I sit in my car and work.

I hate being late to meetings. I also expect other people to come to meetings on time. One of the downfalls of being a perfectionist, I suppose.

What I often fail to do is realize there are legitimate reasons the other person might be late.

Fortunately I’m married to a really great guy with loads of compassion. He usually manages to bring me down to earth. For years he’s told me, “Don’t make stuff up. You have no idea what might be going on in the other’s person’s life. What if they had to go to the hospital because someone in their family had an accident?” Things like that.

After years of marriage, it’s finally starting to sink in. Richard is so levelheaded. He usually sees both sides of a story. As a criminal defense attorney and as a trial lawyer he has to see both sides of a story – he always recognizes there are two sides in play.

Or maybe he was just born with a degree of compassion I seem to lack sometimes.

And I am learning. Slowly. I still have knee jerk reactions but I’m finally able to step back and at least try to see both sides.

I had a perfect opportunity to practice this the other day. Monday morning I sent an email to my new property manager suggesting a meeting over at our apartment building. Our to-do list is about a mile long.

To my surprise, instead of hearing back from Mike, I received an ‘out of office email’ stating he had a family emergency and would be unavailable for the next week.

My first reaction was, “And when, exactly, was he planning to tell me he’d be out of pocket for a week? Who’s on whose payroll here anyway? Is there anyone on the job right now?” Frankly I was pretty unhappy with him for not firing off a quick email or text telling me he’d be gone.

See what I mean? Knee jerk reaction.

Yet…

We fired our previous property manager for gross negligence. Mike is fully aware of the entire story. He knows it will take time for me to have full trust in him and to be completely confident that we have the right guy on the job. Emergencies come up but communication remains a high priority.

Then I thought of what my husband would say. He’d say, “Who knows what’s happening? Mike probably has someone taking over for him while he’s gone.”

For now, I can think good thoughts and pray Mike’s family is okay. I can show a little compassion.

I’ve also scheduled a meeting at the property with another member of his team. My husband might be right. I may find that Mike’s work has been delegated and things are actually happening over there.

Ultimately it’s my job to be sure.

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After writing this post I met up with our leasing agent, Ian, over at the property. Turns out he’s been sending some urgent messages to Mike, with apologies for disturbing him during an emergency. Nonetheless, he needed to make some time sensitive decisions and he did not have the authority to do so without Mike’s consent. Mike was not getting back with him.

Ian also didn’t know he could come to me for decisions. A critical oversight. On my part.

This development adds another dimension to my story. The question of delegation. And, as I’ve said, ultimately the buck stops at my door.

Does your team know they can come to you in the absence of their direct supervisor? Do you have plans in place when emergencies come up?

If not, I hope you let my story be your inspiration to put some plans in place.

Your turn.

Does this remind you of any times where you were faced with a similar dilemma? What’s your best advice on great communication in business?

No related posts.

I thought a little cliché might brighten your day! Did it work?

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There’s nothing more appealing to your customers as when you answer your phone with a smile on your face (and by extension your voice).

This may seem obvious, but… have you tried it? Do you you answer your phone with a smile? Back when I was a headhunter in training this was drilled into me until it came naturally. We also practiced standing up when we talked on the phone. You might be surprised at how much of this stuff comes across a phone line. Or at your front door.

It also does wonders for your own attitude. And your attitude can positively influence sales and customer relations.

When was the last time you said ‘Buenos días’ to a complete stranger? In some cultures this goes without saying. Or rather, it goes with saying… morning, noon and night. Buenos días, Buenas tardes, Buenas noches. Nice isn’t it?

I recently had a coaching client hire me after finding me on the internet.

When I asked her how she arrived at my blog she couldn’t recall. “Darn!” I thought. It would be so good to know this. I could do more of it. Was it facebook? Twitter? Did she search for coaching?

So I asked her the next obvious question. “Why did you decide to call me rather than the other coaches you found online?”

Her answer? “You look so happy.”

A smile goes a long way.

The way you are being influences others. Who would you rather work with? Someone who loves what they do or someone who begrudges every minute spent on the job?

Do you remember the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”? Have you ever wondered why a song like that gets stuck in your head?

Related posts:

1. “What happened to 44%? We lost money!”
2. You Had Me at Hello

I cut my teeth on real estate investing with single family properties. I flipped, renovated, bought, held and sold duplexes and single family homes. As an investor – not as a real estate agent.

One day we decided to meet with the owner of a small boutique brokerage house. The firm specialized in small to medium sized apartment buildings.

I briefly considered starting with a younger broker in the firm. Someone who might be really hungry for business. Unfortunately my ego got in the way. It was the owner or no one for me.

His receptionist brought us back to the conference room. I almost always take the chair at the head of the table. To me, it’s kind of a joke. I like to see what the other guy will do. The one who usually sits in that chair. I also like to subtly send the message that I’m a client with an agenda. And that I’m there do to business.

As the meeting began, and without any prompting from me, my husband said, “I’m only along for the ride, Marc, my wife is the real estate expert here. So, talk to her.”

I was pretty impressed with my husband. I didn’t ask him to say that… but I did want to lead the meeting. Alas, Marc couldn’t care less what my husband said. He spent the next 45 minutes pretty much ignoring me… and talking to my husband.

And that’s when I got my first inkling of what a good ol’ boy world commercial real estate was.

Finally, once this guy Marc got it in his head that I would be buying the apartment building, he said, “Start with a duplex”. I don’t think he quite added ‘little lady’ but it was pretty much there in neon flashing above his head.

It was all very motivating.

My Mom tells a story about when she announced her decision to go to law school to a group of ‘friends’. An attorney pointed a finger at her and said with a boisterous guffaw, “She thinks she can be a lawyer. Hahaha”

She had just finished undergraduate school as a single mom of six — at the age of 35. How the heck did he know whether she could make it or not?

By the way, she’s been practicing law for a long time now.

And we started with a 30 unit building.

The moral to the story.

My Mom claims she finished law school on the pure grit she got from that single comment. Nothing inspired her as singly as that misguided pig headed lawyer who knew absolutely nothing about her. I knew I had the education and experience to move into multifamily investing on a larger scale than a duplex.

If you are truly excited by something, or passionate about a goal, don’t let naysayers get in your way.

With education and some true grit, you can be anything you want.

Inspiration can be found in “No”.

When was the last time you accomplished something in spite of being told it would be impossible or beyond your abilities?

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I kind of live by the philosophy ‘don’t explain’. Some would call it ruthless or inconsiderate. I call it good business.

The amazing thing is that when you start explaining things, you’ve usually done something that needs explaining. Like you arrived late. Or you said you’d get something done – and you didn’t. Or you rescheduled something — over and over.

Why do we make promises? And why do we make promises we know we can’t keep?

I know. I know. Things happen. All the time. But if you keep it in your head that you do not want to be someone who makes explanations, you might be more careful with your planning (and your promises).

And then there’s the other side of it too.

I usually have pretty solid reasons for doing what I do. My main goal usually isn’t to look good so I don’t spend a lot of time trying to. Explanations are generally superfluous. Doing the right thing isn’t.

When do you find yourself doing the most explaining?

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Today I’m going to ask you to hop on over to Stacey Nobbe’s blog. You’ll recognize her as The Beginner Businesswoman from her frequent comments here.

In a word, I ADORE Stacey and I think you’ll love her too.

This week Stacey has graciously included me in her interview series Meet the Experts (read her post at this link). I’m truly honored to be highlighted on her on blog.

But this post is about Stacey.

She sums it up nicely in her ‘About Me’ statement:

“I’m a wife, mother, teacher and friend, with a dream, an invention, and the drive to make it all come true.”

Stacey is the mother of five kids (and yes, they all still live at home), she’s married and she teaches full time. Yet she made a commitment to do something every day to get her business started.

And she writes about it on her blog.

Her commitment to business and success is off the charts. I would put Stacey in the top 1% of those who are truly in action, connecting with others, setting goals and learning from every single experience she goes through on her way to building her business.

You want to be inspired? Read her blog – regularly.

She has created a wonderful space where she shares her stories in a delightfully disarming way. She has a generous heart and is inspiringly insightful.

Last week Stacey left a comment on my post Got a Great Business Idea? Why Are You Sitting On It?. I just have to share it with you.

Her comment says it all:

“For me, in the beginning, I lacked the self-confidence to believe that I had what it took to take my idea and market it successfully. When I first started my blog, I had the fear of failing in front of so many people. If I tried this business venture “quietly” and failed, no one would know about it, and I would still have my pride. Now that I’ve “put it out there” with my blog, everyone will know if I fail.

I do realize now that since I’m committed to taking action in front of my audience, I’ve increased my chances of success. I’m also finding that I’m gaining respect from many people, and I have people who are willing to help me to be successful! I’m starting to hear people talk about how their board game boxes are falling apart, and they can’t wait for me to manufacture the Game Hero. It’s still scary, and extremely exhausting, though.”

Stacey truly lives what she writes. I know you’ll love her.

You will be inspired by her journey.

***

What inspires you? How do you keep working diligently toward your goals?

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Today marks the first anniversary of BigFishTopDogs.com. I’d say, “I can’t believe it!” — but believe it, I do. I’d exclaim, “Wow, this year has literally flown by!” if I could make it believable.

Actually,

it seems like a million years ago when my friend Adam said, “Just start blogging, the rest will come” and I believed him. His comment propelled me to act on blind faith. I had no idea of what was ultimately to come. And frankly, I didn’t have big plans or a rock solid strategy for where I was going.

What I didn’t know, when I started, was how much I would love writing, how thrilled I would be to discover my voice, and how amazing it would be to unearth an ability to inspire by putting my thoughts down in writing.

And the biggest wonderment of all has been all of you who visit, read, comment and share.

I’ve always lived a life where I’m constantly thinking about how I can inspire others to believe differently. To change their language. To embrace action. To marvel at a shift in thinking. To hang out with motivating and inspiring people. It’s why I became a mentor and a coach.

Blogging has given me that incredible platform. It also led me to discover there are hundreds of people who feel the same as I do. I’ve gained so much from meeting all of you. A community who engages enthusiastically. With me. And, incredibly, with each other.

Thank you.

Oh! And one more thing. What marvelous and amazing things have you discovered over the past year?

(You know I love your comments!)

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Do you ever stop and think about how you’re being? Who you are in the doing?

Last week, one of the members of our mastermind group suggested we write down our top 10 goals and share them with the rest of the group. In itself, that’s not an unusual thing to do. Mastermind groups are a fabulous place to share and work on goals.

But Martha added a twist.

She suggested we write down how we wanted to be as we achieved those goals. After doing the exercise, an interesting, and surprising theme emerged — to a person. It became immediately apparent that quality of life trumped ‘quantity’ (as in money and possessions).

What actually developed was a list that read like, “This is how I’m going to enjoy my life as I achieve my goals.”

Maybe there’s a pleasant side effect to this recession after all. What ails us is not all bad. My group consists of some pretty high achieving individuals who, two years ago, might have had goals that sounded like they came straight out of the Donald Trump school of thought. You know, make big bucks, have all the luxuries, work super hard, things like that.

Instead, the predominant thought was more like ‘simplify’.

We would be:

• Worry free.
• Spending quality time with loved ones.
• Open to new opportunities.
• More playful.
• Body aware.
• Introspective.
• Sleeping soundly.
• Outgoing and exuberant.
• Believers in impossible things.
• Friends and mentors.
• Able to find happiness in each day.

I was truly amazed to do a goal setting exercise that had such a wonderful result. It helped me open my eyes to the fact that the way we spend our days is the ultimate gauge of our quality of life. And, in the end, of how our lives were lived (yes, read ‘past tense’).

When was the last time you asked yourself, “How am I being?”

Enjoy yourself.  It’s later than you think.  ~Chinese Proverb

Who are you right now? Dream it and begin it.

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Are you doing something you love so much that even the serious challenges are fun? In a sense, this is the truest of all litmus tests.

Some problems can seem so daunting and challenging to fix that the faint of heart might turn their backs saying, “This is impossible.” On the other hand, a confident leader will see nothing but opportunity and possibility. A successful entrepreneur learns to love dire straits… or precarious positions.

When you are in action problems can, and will, arise.

Are you someone who can be in the middle of a disaster, something that might appear to be a sinking ship at best, and say, “This is fun, in a ‘sick’ kind of way”?

You can say this when:

• You absolutely love what you do — even in the hardest of times.
• You know that staying the course through the down times will lead to success.
• You can work through problems without taking them personally.
• You know you’re good at what you do.
• You possess an unwavering, total belief in yourself.
• You don’t let feelings of inadequacy cloud your judgment or influence your actions.
• You have talented team working with you.

This is when you can express your awesome-ness. We can all look good when things are going exactly as planned. It’s when times get tough and appear to be at their bleakest that leaders rise to the top.

What recent challenges have you had? And how how have you overcome those challenges?

(Comments welcome.)

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I have one of those day-by-day golf tip calendars on my desk. Admittedly, it’s slightly worthless in the dead of winter. Although my neighbors might be entertained if they could look through my office window and see me practicing golf swings.

Today’s golf tip was: Don’t play hurt. It said pain is telling you something is wrong and that playing or practicing when you’re in pain will only make things worse. It’s best to take your doctor’s advice to take meds or to rest and recover.

That’s OK for a strain or an injury.

But if your business or bank account is hurting, this is terrible advice. Injuries – like debt or serious cash flow problems — can cause you to make compensatory moves to lessen the pain, but you might be making all the wrong moves.

Going further into debt or becoming inactive in scarcity thinking is treating the symptom, not the cause.

This is exactly the time to practice, play hard and take lessons or coaching. To swing for the fences. If you’re looped out on meds or laying low in bed, you will not recover.

It’s time to stop listening to the recession talk. People are buying goods and services every day. There is a ton of buying power out there. It’s time to play hard and play to win.

Are you game?

Hey, if you like this post why not share it with your friends and colleagues? Click the buttons below to tweet, like on Facebook, digg, etc. Thanks!

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“It is extremely important that the enthusiasm not get ahead of the evidence.”

This is just the greatest statement. I heard it while listening to the radio yesterday morning. In this case, they were discussing Vitamin D, the health supplement de jour. A few years back it was Vitamin E.

People are popping high dosages of Vitamin D, sometimes on the strength of what they read on the Internet alone. My husband and I take it every morning.

So, are we chasing bright shiny objects? Following the crowd… consequences be damned?

Although I’m a huge advocate for taking action, you will never hear me say, “Jump before you have a look”.

We’ve got some really great friends, lots of them fact — like lemur hoards worth — who recently jumped on the stock option trading bandwagon.  Those that didn’t look closely and operated purely on blind faith, lost their money early in the game.  Often times money that was not earmarked for risk taking, in other words, “It’s a risk but it’s not going to kill me to lose this money, I’m investing to learn the game.” That’s OK. Gambling with your savings is not OK.

In high school I had a friend who used to say “Madagascar lemur, away!” whenever he got a chance.  I was never sure why he said this. I thought it was just fun to say. But now? I think maybe he knew what he was talking about.

We bought land in Mexico four years ago in a project that should have been developed in 12-18 months. We knew it was a gamble going in. It may still pay off in spades, but it isn’t going to happen tomorrow. Here’s the thing to think about though. We negotiated a huge discount before we agreed to buy and we used windfall money from previous real estate investments.  Money that was leveraged from doing other deals successfully. Money that was earmarked for risky real estate investing.

Do I have some other things I could invest that money in today for a better return? Absolutely. But it didn’t bankrupt us having it tied up indefinitely.

The lesson is, don’t get ahead of the evidence.

Have you ever been tempted to start flipping houses because you know someone who’s doing it really well?  Don’t get a head of the evidence in your enthusiasm to try the same thing. They may be doing all cash deals and have a large bankroll with little or no reliance on the broken credit market.  They may not be at the mercy of the system if they need to carry a deal a little longer than planned. Different exit strategies for different folks.

That’s the evidence. It’s important to learn and understand how a deal works before you leap blindly over a cliff. Or start experiencing really weird side effects from too much Vitamin D.

It might be time to stop following the crowd and go back to what you do really well. Listen to your heart.

So, what was the last shiny object you chased? We’ve all done it. Let’s see… our last one was probably that really great network marketing gig our friend told us about. Or those ten resale websites I put up 5 years ago. Those sites that were going to make me a fortune. Wow, did that suck up a lot of my time. Lesson learned.

I’d love it if you would share your experiences in the comments below!

Oh! If you haven’t done so already, grab my RSS feed or subscribe by email to bigfishtopdogs over on the right sidebar of this blog… you’ll be the first to receive new posts hot off the press!

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A guest post from my good friend Gail Hahn, The Energized Entrepreneur.

Our brains answer whatever questions we ask. So if you want more empowering answers, ask more empowering questions. If you want dumb answers that will keep you stuck, just keep asking dumb questions such as, “Why is this happening to me, again?”

It’s automatic. Our mind starts talking to us and answering questions it reads in book titles, hears on TV commercials or hears in our head. Questions such as “do you have the coolest cell phone?”, “are you sick and tired of belly fat?”, “is your house under water or are you in debt?” We’re asked disempowering questions all the time and we are answering in a negative way automatically whether we are aware of it or not.  If you want different results and different answers, then turn your questions around to lead you to better results and more creative solutions. Better questions such as, “what can I do to be more fit?” and, “who can I hire/ask/seek advice from to help me be financially solvent or free?” or, “how can I creatively re-finance my home or sell it in this market?”

I asked myself the creative house-selling question when I had a property for sale in the Phoenix market at the bottom of the real estate bust. Two of my next-door neighbor’s homes were for sale and there were three more homes on my street for sale at the same time. Here’s what my brain came up with after bringing my challenge to my mastermind group and twisting around their ideas: I offered an additional $1000 bonus directly to the buyer’s agent and I gave a free cruise to Mexico to the buyers. I also threw in my patio furnishings. Voila — my house sold quickly and the cruise to Mexico only cost me a few hundred dollars, but the perceived value was much higher. Without asking the empowering question of how I could creatively and boldly market my house, it would still be sitting there. (On a side note — my realtor didn’t come up with anything out of the usual to get it sold; it was my responsibility to take empowering action.)

If you want different results and different answers, then turn your questions around to lead you to better results and more creative solutions.

So instead of asking, “How did I get myself in this mess?” ask yourself, “What would (name your hero here) do in this situation?” or, “What ways can I move forward from this or learn from this?” or even, “Who do I know who could give me advice on winning over this situation?”.

You may ask yourself, “What can I do now? What do I have power over that I can change right now to start moving me forward?”. Do you see the differences in the questions and how your answers can either keep you stuck or move you towards better results?

I see so many professionals stuck in their old ways. Who are blind to new possibilities. The solution can be as simple as asking themselves the right questions to get the right answers. Be creative in your problem solving. Write it down, brainstorm with friends and let it flow. When times get tough, the tough get creative in their solutions. Do activities to access the right side of your brain, the creative side, to help the solutions flow. Try things like: juggling, throwing a Koosh Ball between your left and right side, doing the hoola hoop, dancing, playing in the dog park, drawing/painting or doing something artistic to access that creative side of your brain.

Inspiration can pop up anywhere when you allow the process to happen.

Start asking more empowering questions of yourself and your clients and you will start to see more powerful results coming out of that process.

Happy Thanksgiving to our friends here in the states. The one question I’m focusing on is what dessert to eat as my meal. That’s right, my new tradition is no Thanksgiving meal, just dessert. As a vegetarian, I’ve never liked any of the usual holiday fare, so I’m saving calories and cooking time and just doing dessert. Drastic for some, just right for me. Cheers!

Author Gail Hahn, MA, CSP, is an Energy Expert, Author and Certified Speaking Professional who revitalizes work, wealth and well-being. She helps you and your organization operate by design and not default. Gail works with individuals,  organizations and events to create energy and synergy to boost performance and optimize at every level.

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