In a recent post, I asked the question “If you hired a coach today, what’s the number one thing you would work on?” I also conducted ‘live’ interviews, where I asked, “What are you looking for in a coach?” and, “Have you ever had a coach before?”
Surprising Answers
To my great surprise, very few of those I talked to had an interest in coaching around psychology. They wanted a coach who would:
- Tell them what to do.
- Give them a step by step game plan.
In other words, they were looking for direction. A girlfriend told me, “Look I don’t want to talk about how I think or where I’m coming from in my heart and mind, I just want someone to tell me what to do.”
A friend from one of my mastermind groups told me she didn’t want to hear how she could “get out of her own way.”
Most people I talked to wanted step-by-step coaching.
Yet…
Your Mind is Your Greatest Asset
I believe our subconscious drives our decision making. And I believe our mind is our biggest asset. This is exactly what I write about. I do everything in my power to give a voice to the idea that we create through our thoughts and we deliver results by possessing the right mindset.
So, my little ask campaign* has me stumped. (*see footnote)
The Easy Road
Most of you know I’ve been coaching for years. And I love step by step coaching. It’s easy to do. In fact, it’s too easy. For both the coach and the coachee.
The challenge is in finding what’s really holding you back from greatness. A coach can’t help you find an answer if they’re telling you what to do. And if we’re not getting help from our coaches on how to think, where are we getting it? Napoleon Hill knew our success was a direct result of how we thought… back in 1937. Has something changed? Are processes simply an easier way to exist?
I may begin a coaching relationship with a step by step process, heavy in accountability, but I promise by the end of the coaching process my clients know how to move on their own. So my question today is this: Do we really want a paint by numbers existence?
I’d love to know your thoughts on this.
(And yes, this discussion walks a thin line between the role of a coach and a consultant. I get that:) I’ll save that topic for another post… )
*********
footnote:
*Ask Campaigns
An ask campaign is one where you ask your clients what they’re looking for. It’s that simple.
But most businesses don’t do it.
My conversations and interviews about coaching are part of a typical ask campaign. Want to know what your clients are willing (and dying) to pay for? Ask them! How can you provide solutions to problems if you don’t know what problems your clients are facing? Have you created a product or service that no one wants? Better to find out early in the game, not later.
Have you conducted an ask campaign for your business? When? Times change. Needs shift. Desires are fickle.
You may be surprised by the answers you get. And it’s really simple to do. You can ask via email, or post your questions (or surveys… another great tool!) on your website or blog, or you can do a simple one on one conversation with your existing clients. This is a great tip. 
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I think a good coach knows what people need better than they know for themselves. I think it’s up to you to show those you coach how important their thinking is while mixing step-by-step instructions in there as well.
Hey Graham! I agree. And it’s how I coach too.
Theresa
It is always easier to be told what to do. It removes our obligation to think and sometimes that can relieve a lot of stress. It also provides a fall guy for when things don’t go the way we want them to.
I am not a big fan of it, even though I am guilty of wanting to do it too. It reminds me of a Mark Twain quote, ““You can’t reach old age by another man’s road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you.”
It seems to me that if I want success I have to figure out how to get out of my own way and doing that requires thought.
Jack @ TheJackB recently posted..Paralysis- Indecision Is A Decision
I love that quote Jack. Thank you.
I also appreciate what you’ve said about being told what to do… and the perils therein. For both the teller and the tellee. Wise observations Jack.
Sometimes we do have to get out of our own way. But we don’t always see that on our own. Or, we do and yet we resist. Or we mimic those we’ve known over the years – helpful or not. A new perspective can be just the thing.
I loved your comment.
Theresa
Theresa Bradley-Banta recently posted..So. You Want to Be a Millionaire. Get the Right Coach.
Theresa: That really is interesting information you got back. I think that people are really looking to be pointed in the right direction step by step, but I agree with you that usually in order to do so in a real way, a coach has to get under someone’s surface. You have got to see the blocks and the limiting beliefs. I think the ideal situation is probably a combination of both. Really interesting information you collected though. Thanks for sharing.
Sibyl recently posted..A Simple Way to Start Your Day off Right and Get Some Instant and Quick Motivation
Hi Sibyl – These are smart observations. I agree with you that a combination makes sense. Yet if we cannot get around limiting beliefs, step by step direction is almost bound to fail. But when we experience success due to a shift in how we think, those learnings can be applied across the board.
So, you might have step by step coaching on how to build a website, but let’s say you have a breakthrough on how to conduct research and find tools on your own. In other words, you remove a block in your own mind about being able to figure things out on your own. It’s then you have discovered an empowering belief and a skill that can be applied to the next project. To any project really. And the need for step by step guidance diminishes.
This has been a fun topic. Thanks for joining in the conversation.
Theresa
Theresa Bradley-Banta recently posted..What Would You Be Doing Right Now if You Had a Coach?
Ha, ha Theresa,
Funny, that I have asked for a step by step guidance. If I had read your post before our call I would have thought twice before asking for a step by step process.
This is such a funny coincidence:)
Derek
Derek Potocki recently posted..One Thing I Learned From Elvis
Hi Derek — Now you know what I was talking about! Haha. It was a great coincidence!
I’m still writing on the topic. You will find my next post very interesting, I’m sure of that:)
T
(Now I’m off to see what you learned from Elvis.)
I really wish I could say otherwise, Theresa, but the results of your “ask campaign” are not a big surprise.
Wanting “direction” and “how-to information” is at the top of everyone’s list — whether it’s someone who’s struggling to get a small business off the ground or someone who’s not seeing positive or lucrative results in an established business.
I agree with you about the mind — it’s the most powerful tool we own! There’s no denying that fact.
But when it comes to convincing people they need to focus on “mindset” first … good luck with that! I’ll be frank. You’ve known me long enough by now to know I’m not just some big bag of wind. Here’s what I know for sure — people just don’t see the dollars and cents in mindset. Sad, but true. They have little or no interest in discussing their “thinking” — they want to discuss their “doing” (or “not doing” as the case may be).
People want to get down to brass tacks! They want to engage with the basic facts or realities of what it’s going to take to be successful. Of course, you and I know it takes the right mindset first or the business is going down the crapper!
I think coaches have a tough decision to make sometimes with their clients …
You’ve got to either give a client what she “wants” or what she “needs”. And the two are worlds apart.
Enjoyed this post very much!
Melanie
Melanie Kissell @SoloMompreneur recently posted..No Magic Till You Pay Your Blogging Dues In Full
Hi Melanie –
I enjoyed your comment. And I appreciate it too. This has been a very, very interesting topic. Call me stubborn, but I’m still in the mindset camp. See my next post:) It definitely addresses the dollars and cents issue around mindset. No question about it. It’s actually a personal story… one in which I made a great deal of money. Something I would not have accomplished with a ‘how to’ coach. (With the wrong coach we’d be living in one unit of a fourplex. You’ll see what I mean.)
What I learned was priceless. And it’s something I’ve been able to apply over and over in other business ventures. How to think big. How to shoot for the moon and know I’ll achieve it. And a realization that there is a great deal of abundance in this universe we live in.
I guess you can lead a horse to water…
Hopefully these posts have at least raised the bar a little. Or opened some minds to other worlds. : )
Thanks for your comment Mel. It’s a good one.
T
Theresa Bradley-Banta recently posted..So. You Want to Be a Millionaire. Get the Right Coach.