Do you ever get “stuck” for conversation ideas while networking? Or, worse yet, somehow find yourself talking only about yourself?
Do you ever get completely tongue tied because you are intimidated by meeting someone new?
You can change this by practicing a little humanity. Like, having a genuine human curiosity about the person you’re engaging with.
“Hey, I really liked her!” (…or him)
That’s what the person you just met is going to think when you let the conversation be about them. Most people like being the topic of conversation.
When you’re networking it’s not that hard to just pretend you’re at a barbecue. People get tongue tied at professional events only because they forget the human element.
Ask any question that demonstrates a bona fide interest in the other person.
There’s probably some bad questions, like, “Do you like my hair?” or, “Do you have any relatives in jail?” Obvious stuff. And, you don’t have to come across as a stalker either. Try this… When you meet someone for the first time, pause for a minute and think to yourself, “Hey this is just another person like me. They have interests, hobbies, friends, family, etc.”
I like to look at someone and try to picture what they looked like when they were a little kid. Helps a lot if you’re intimidated by someone. And, it reminds me that we probably have more in common than not.
Here are some questions that will help you get the conversation rolling:
“Where are you from?”
“How’d y’all meet”? (works for couples, business partners, co-workers…)
“What led you into the business you’re in?”
“How did you ever come up with such a great idea?”
“What got you interested in that?
“When did you first know you were an entrepreneur?”
“What’s a subject you know a lot about?”
“When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
“What are some of the best places you’ve ever been?”
Just don’t push back to your own stuff all the time. Let the conversation be about the other person. When you play nice, you’re not talking about yourself – at all. You’re practicing the art of listening every chance you get.
Do you mind if I mention a personal pet peeve of mine? Please don’t stand there thinking about what you’re going to say next. It’s really, really obvious that you are no longer listening. Make an effort to listen to the answer and then ask a good follow up question related to what the person just said.
When you get really good at this, your biggest challenge might be figuring out how to end the conversation.
Which reminds me that I should give a word of caution here. Questions such as, “How are you doing?” or, “Are you enjoying that?”, can open the door to hearing all about the other person’s troubles and woes. This can be good… or bad. Obviously, you want to have a dialog that is positive and constructive. You don’t want to risk getting into a conversation where you need to play psychologist. On the other hand, if you are interested in getting someone interested in a new opportunity, it might be a good thing to discover that they are ready to move on.
But seriously, ask these questions at your own risk.
How about you? Do you have some great questions to contribute?
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Excellent ideas. I tend to avoid crowds for a variety of reasons but you’ve given me some good ideas that will help me be less stressed about the events that I absolutely can’t avoid. Thanks.
Thank you for your comment Caileagh. I’m glad I’ve reduced your stress level. Attending events can be draining but less so when you take an interest in the other person. And you can learn so many interesting things! It’s so nice to hear from you. Thanks for taking time to contribute to the conversation.
Theresa
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