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I get a ton of traffic to my blog from people who want to know how to ask someone to be their mentor. This post is part of a series on asking someone to be your mentor. Be sure to look for the links to the related posts at the bottom of this article!
I’ve had mentors for years and I have been a mentor for years. I’ve worked with some of the top mentors in the world. My advice on how to ask someone to be a mentor might surprise you.
In short — don’t ask someone outright to be your mentor… read on.
When I first started my real estate business I was very successful in acquiring single-family properties and duplexes at great prices.
Then I found myself dealing with tenants. I hadn’t planned on going into the property management business.
No way was that part of my plan.
My strength was in acquiring great deals and managing the asset, not the residents of the properties.
Then I met Mike O’Donnell. We were in the same group of entrepreneurs who had signed up for a year-long program with entrepreneurs from all over the country.
Mike owned a 55-unit apartment building. Wow! Until then I hadn’t even considered buying apartment buildings.
What does this story have to do with asking someone to be your mentor?
Mike was a total inspiration to me. I admired his guts in starting big in the real estate business. He completely skipped the part about cutting your teeth on single-family deals.
I wanted to know how he did it.
He had a real estate model that completely solved my problem of having to deal with the daily needs of tenants. Mike’s tenants were not calling him to complain about leaking toilets and noisy neighbors — they were calling the management company!
I wanted Mike’s expert opinion.
So… I found a few other people from the same group who were looking to buy commercial real estate properties. Not everyone was looking for apartments. One guy, Earl, was focused on buying self-storage unit properties. With his wife Jeannine, they were buying small flip house on a large scale.
I suggested to Earl & Jeannine that we start an interest based mastermind group. When I approached Mike with the idea of getting together with other like-minded people he loved the idea.
It also brought something to the table for Mike… an opportunity to brainstorm with other entrepreneurs who were investing in commercial real estate.
We met once a week by phone for about two years and shared ideas on investing in commercial property. I learned so much from those guys during that time.
You can do the same. Join a group or organization based on common interests. Create a weekly mastermind group with 5 or 6 people who have similar visions or goals. Your group can consist of all levels of ability and experience, something that would be an advantage to each member of the group.
Great tip: Invite experts or successful entrepreneurs to join your mastermind call each week to present on their area of expertise for 10 or 15 minutes.
Don’t forget, mentors can get as much value out of mentoring as the mentee does.
And, the moral to the story?
I didn’t walk up to Mike and say, “Hey, will you be my mentor?”
At the time, I wasn’t clear about what a mentor did. Mike probably wasn’t either. In fact, I feel pretty sure that if I had approached him this way, he would have been humble — and politely refused.
Here’s the thing. Asking someone straight out to be your mentor may possibly backfire unless the other person has significant experience from mentoring in the past and knows what to expect.
It’s possible Mike would have felt I was asking too much of him. He may have been concerned about what he could offer. He may have had very real concerns about the amount of time I was asking him to make available to me.
A great mentor can be the difference between success and failure.
Don’t see what you’re looking for? Grab my FREE eCourse on Smart Tips for Getting a Mentor! This 7 part series will help you find and ask someone to be your mentor. You’ll also get 23 extraordinary questions to ask your mentor! What are you waiting for?
Buy the book!
7 Surefire Ways To Ask Someone To Be Your Mentor
Scripts, Tips and Tactics For Getting A Mentor
by Theresa Bradley-Banta
A BigFishTopDogs.com Publication
Other great resources for asking someone to be your mentor:
You… Just Like Clark Kent. Glasses… No Glasses.
How To Ask Someone to Be Your Mentor By Email – Part II of The Joel Comm Project
Are You Ready for a Mentor? Will a Mentor Be a Good Fit?
Approaching Someone to be Your Mentor
How to Ask Someone to Be Your Mentor
Top 5 Ways to Find a Mentor
5 Top Strategies for Asking Someone to Be Your Mentor
Related posts:
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I found your article after searching how to ask someone to be my mentor. About me, I am 23 yo and I am about to finish my MS in Accounting. I am in an Accounting honor society where I make contact with local firms and professionals and try and get them to speak our or group’s weekly meetings. One of our speakers is a very well respected professional in Houston. I have heard him spoke before and we spoke afterwards. He possesses all of the personal qualities that I feel I need. I think that his advice and counseling would greatly help me make the changes that I need. I will see him again in a few weeks but he also teaches a Bible study class. I plan on attending his class to get to know him more and to develop a relationship. Any more advice you may have would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Hi Bryan,
Congratulations in advance for getting your degree. I think it’s great that you are in the honor society, what an accomplishment! I do have some advice for you but first of all I want to say how impressed I am with you… you are doing so many things right already. You are networking with professionals in your field of expertise. That is a priceless activity on your part. And through your networking, you’ve identified a professional that you admire and respect. Your plan to attend his class shows remarkable initiative. It’s the perfect thing to do. Not only will you have an opportunity to develop more of a relationship with him you’ll have another opportunity to decide if he really might be a good mentor for you. In other words, do you see a good fit?
If you haven’t done so already, I have other posts on this site that you might want to check out. Two in particular might be helpful. Take a look at Top 5 Ways To Find a Mentor and also Approaching Someone to be Your Mentor.
All of these articles have links at the end of the post to my other articles on mentoring relationships. You might want to check them out too. You’ll find nuggets of helpful information in each post.
My best advice is to start slowly. Don’t ask for a mentoring relationship right out of the gate. Take some time to think about where you might want guidance or assistance in your career. What are your goals? What are the top 5 questions you would ask a mentor? Before you approach the professional you’ve identified as a great candidate for mentoring, be clear on what you want and also be clear about what you are willing to do.
Please keep me updated on your progress and do not hesitate to ask me specific questions as they come up.
I’m looking forward to hearing more from you and I’d love to help in any way I can!
~Theresa
I also found your article very inspirational. I am currently a high school student who desires to be a researcher in the medical field. I was at a school event where they invite school alumni to come talk to us about their careers. I found this one extraordinary woman who is the head of research and learning at the major hospital in the city, country and world. I feel like this is a golden opportunity to get to know her, her profession and ask her to be my mentor. However, I am a little confused as to how to ask her to be my mentor. I have already sent her an email describing why I want to be a research scientist and asked for advice. However, I really would like to ask her to help me find some opportunities volunteering at the hospital with a scientist. Could you send me an email on what to do? It would be much appreciated. Thanks!
Hi Priscilla – Thanks for visiting and thanks for leaving your comment. I’ve been a mentor for a long time and if someone approached me saying just about exactly what you said here in your comment, I would feel compelled to be of assistance.
Have you thought of telling her exactly what you just told me?
~Theresa